A Mustard Seed of Hope

My mom sneaked behind my back from six states away and called my best friend who owns the spa in town, and told her to book me for any services I wanted.

I think mom was still worried I was going to have a nervous break down with everything we were facing with Little Buddy, but I was happy to take such an awesome gift, and it was an amazing surprise so I was not going to argue.

I don’t remember what services I chose, I think it was a massage and a manicure, but I remember feeling so good and so special and so hopeful that I was so spoiled on my birthday.

I’m not a big fan of “stuff,” and I can usually be persuaded to go out to dinner instead of go shopping, but I browsed the gift shop at the spa with time to spare before I had to pick up my kids from school that day.

The sun was shining in the windows of the gift shop area and it was so peaceful and I just felt so good…

And then I saw the necklace with the Mustard seed.

First of all, it was beautiful, vintage, and a touch of bling. Second of all, the Mustard seed is something that Tim very passionately teaches about at his class in Bible school and has become an important part of our family’s culture over the years. One of his students once gave him a bookmark with a mustard seed attached to it along with a card where they wrote many kind words of his impact on their life.

It seemed so fitting for me to own that piece of jewelry.

Very few things take my breath away where I can truly say that I love them, and this was one of them.

I bought it for myself, something else that marked such a special birthday.

(Side note: does anyone else have trouble buying things for themselves, but can totally justify spending anything for other people at any given time????)

Every time I wore that thing, I was reminded about that special promise. Little Sis even loved it the first time she saw it, and she would play with it as I wore it and read the back of the inscription and fiddle with it during praise and worship at church. It seemed the more I wore it, the more special it got.

Something happened this summer, and one day I went to go wear it, and I could not find it in my jewelry box. I could not remember the last time I had worn it, I could not remember what I would have done with it, and I could not imagine where it could’ve gone.

I checked closets and purses and bags and vehicles and nightstands and junk drawers and more. I asked all the kids, wondering if maybe they had taken it or played with it or God forbid dropped it down the toilet if I left it next to the tub…

No one knew anything.

Mom always reminds me that it’s just “stuff” and I tried to console myself that so many things are just meant to be enjoyed for a season.

If we have ever found yourself in a waiting period in our life, asking God to speak and show us the signs we need to see and know, it is in this season.

Sometimes, I don’t even know what to ask the Lord for, I just sit and listen and wait and hope for a word or direction or some kind of sign as we keep on keeping on.

Today I left the house in a hurry and went without breakfast. I wanted to run into one store before I went back to work, but I was getting so hangry I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive if I couldn’t find some kind of food stashed in my purse.

As I drove down the highway I kept shoving my hand in the side pockets of my purse, looking for a granola bar or even a piece of candy to fake myself out until I got back to work.

My hand grabbed onto something I barely recognized and I pulled it out in disbelief: there was my Mustard Seed necklace, tangled with two other earrings I must’ve worn the last time I wore the necklace, sitting in my hand.

I just whispered, “thank you Lord,” out loud, and kept on driving, trying to process what just happened.

I sit here now reading the back of it, “If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed… Nothing shall be impossible onto you.”

And I’m thanking God for His faithfulness in our family, our life and our business…

And I’m wearing that thing for the rest of the day.

Thank you, Lord.