The story behind my why. Why I said yes to our foster care journey.
I was scared and wrestling and realizing we were about to say yes to all the things we said we would “never” do.
Then one night as I sat in my room, thinking, praying, worrying over our future, a scene flashed in my mind and changed my life forever.
I watched as an outsider as my two older sons, now grown as teenagers in the scene, pulled into a gas station in a nearby city to fill their truck with fuel and grab some snacks.
As they were walking the aisles, cutting up and choosing too much sugar and slim jims, another teenager came running into that same gas station, mouthed off to the cashier in a rage, and when he did not get what he came for pulled out a gun and opened fire in that store, killing my beautiful, beloved sons in one horrific moment.
I knew that I knew that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was my chance to choose the life I wanted to create for my children.
It cannot be found in the “my four and no more” philosophy, or the bubble tactic we try to shield our children with until they become so detached from society and local community they cannot function.
It is found in modeling a life of self sacrifice and choosing to do things that are hard on our flesh or uncomfortable to our culture.
Because you can do everything in your power to control the atmosphere and environment your children grow up in and even seemingly flourish in, but if it doesn’t make room for more seats at the table or more kindness to those who need it the most, it is not established on the right foundation and will burn away in the last moments our eyes will behold.
And it can all be taken from you here on this earth in the blink of an eye regardless of all your careful planning and precautions.
So please hear my heart in this post, and know how very aware I am that every one of us has a different walk, a different calling and a different part to play.
I am only sharing my story to encourage you to live out yours, whatever that may look like.
Because if you do that, and your neighbor does that, and my sister does that, and our moms do that…
Well, then we win, my friends.