Originally posted Easter 2019
I woke up this morning with such mixed emotions. Easter is such a glorious day, and before I even opened my eyes, I remembered the victory and celebration of the day.
Once my eyes opened, my heart sank with guilt over the looming reality that my sister and her family would not be able to celebrate together, that our sweet miracle baby had such a long road ahead of her. It seemed so bitter and cruel irony, that Resurrection Day resembled such a sad day for those I love…
So I sat up, I breathed, and I prayed, “Lord, I will do my best for you today. I will serve my family, I will celebrate you, I will worship and rejoice in church, and I will believe You for the rest.”
Oh my heart was still so heavy and torn, but I kept my promise. I felt like I was betraying my far away family, my beautiful new little love of a niece… how could I celebrate when I knew such brokenness was just on the other side of my mind…???
Through the worship and into the preaching, my heart prayed, “Lord, I just believe you today. I hate that stupid, blessed cannula and how it represents an unfinished work. Let our baby breathe. Just heal her lungs today. Let her lungs be our miracle. Touch her lungs and let it be done today…”
It was the best I had and all I knew how to believe. Hours went by and Life just kept going. Ham and turkey for dinner with friends and family. A scavenger hunt with Easter baskets, chocolate and bunnies and coffee and hugs and laughter.
But my heart was aching for my family, and my thoughts drifted miles away to them often, wishing, wondering, hoping, and too heavy to send a text begging for an update because I didn’t want to hear something I didn’t want to hear.
And then it came. The photo of the sweetest little girl I’d ever seen in bunny ears to boot. My heart jumped and I stared and stared. I flew a text back, asking her to clarify the photo: was that breathing tube gone, or was this just a photo op? And then the reply came: the cannula was removed at noon today, and sweet Everly girl had not had one breathing spell since that time.
My heart soared and tears welled up in my eyes. And then my sister made the official Facebook post this evening to share it all and all my hopes collided with my beautiful family day.
And I am able to share her story as I rejoice in my answered prayer, and sing of the goodness and faithfulness of God. Of course He is good no matter the situation and circumstances, but I can’t help but thank Him for yet one more miracle, one more gift…
And the King of my heart, the King of victory, paid it all and did it for me, and Everly, and every one of us, today…